I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
