I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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