Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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