i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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