After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
