we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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