One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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