If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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