I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
