Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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