She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
