hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
