i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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