sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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