And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
