you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
