so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
