Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
