Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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