so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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