Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
