What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
