btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
