do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I came so hard my ears popped.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
