My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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