Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
