He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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