I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
