he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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