Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
