I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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