You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
