I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
