I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
