I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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