how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
