Ambien. No doubt about it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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