my phone needs a breathalizer
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
