how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
