A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I could fuck to npr.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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