bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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