Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
