Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
