please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
