We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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