They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
