if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
