ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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