they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
