you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
