I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
