take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
