Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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