wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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