lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
